The Art of Tanking: A Playful Look at the NBA’s Race to the Bottom
Ah, tank-related puns—how I’ve missed you! Last season, the NBA landscape was devoid of any real contenders for clever wordplay. Sure, Victor Wembanyama was a name that sparked some creativity, but let’s be honest, his name isn’t exactly a punster’s dream. However, this season, the tanking narrative is back in full swing, and with it comes a plethora of delightful puns. “Sag for Flagg” in honor of Duke forward Cooper Flagg is the most obvious, but “drag for Flagg” and “waive the white Flagg” also have a nice ring to them. Thank you, Reddit, for keeping the spirit of tanking alive with your creativity!
The Eastern Conference: A Battle for the Bottom
As we dive into the current NBA season, it’s clear that several teams in the Eastern Conference are actively vying for the bottom of the standings. With at least four teams seemingly committed to this tanking strategy, the race is on to secure a coveted spot in the draft lottery. The competition is fierce, and while the Western Conference may not have as many teams actively tanking, the sheer talent of the top teams will naturally push the weaker squads down the standings.
Ranking the Tanking Teams
Let’s take a closer look at the eight teams best positioned to lose as the season unfolds.
1. Los Angeles Clippers
What’s going on with Kawhi Leonard? After a tumultuous previous season where he played only twice against the Dallas Mavericks, his health remains a significant concern. With Paul George gone and James Harden’s scoring ability in decline, the Clippers will need a healthy Leonard to even think about competing for a Play-In Tournament spot. If his knee issues persist, the Clippers could find themselves in a precarious position, especially with the Oklahoma City Thunder controlling their future draft picks.
2. Charlotte Hornets
The Hornets are in a transitional phase, with promising rookie Brandon Miller and new coach Charles Lee at the helm. However, the team is still heavily reliant on the health of its veterans. LaMelo Ball’s injury history and the limited playtime of rising star Mark Williams raise questions about their ability to compete. With a roster that lacks experience, an extra lottery pick could be beneficial for the Hornets as they look to rebuild.
3. Utah Jazz
The Jazz have been treading water, hovering around .500 for the past two seasons. However, their record takes a nosedive after February, and with Danny Ainge at the helm, they seem poised to make moves that could further weaken the team. While Lauri Markkanen’s presence keeps the Jazz competitive, they may need to offload some veterans to ensure they stay out of the Play-In Tournament.
4. Chicago Bulls
The Bulls have taken a step back, losing key players like Alex Caruso and DeMar DeRozan. While Zach LaVine’s return could help, the team’s overall fit is questionable. With a roster that includes Josh Giddey and Nikola Vucevic, the Bulls may have talent, but their rebuilding intentions are clear. Trading away Caruso and DeRozan signals a commitment to a new direction.
5. Detroit Pistons
The Pistons have a promising young core, but their offensive struggles could be monumental. With Ausar Thompson and Jalen Duren leading the charge, the defense may hold up, but the lack of shooting could hinder their progress. The addition of veterans like Tobias Harris and Tim Hardaway Jr. is meant to provide spacing, but their individual scoring tendencies might complicate team dynamics.
6. Portland Trail Blazers
Despite having more NBA talent than your average bottom-dweller, the Trail Blazers find themselves in a tough spot. With players like Jerami Grant and Deandre Ayton, they should be competitive, but the sheer strength of the Western Conference will likely drag them down. The focus this season is on development rather than winning, which could lead to a disappointing record.
7. Brooklyn Nets
The Nets have made it clear they’re committed to tanking. After trading away Mikal Bridges and acquiring their own first-round pick, they’re setting themselves up for a significant rebuild. With players like Cam Johnson and Dorian Finney-Smith potentially on the move, the Nets are positioning themselves for a lottery pick, ensuring they have as many chances as possible in the draft.
8. Washington Wizards
The Wizards are the epitome of a tanking team this season. With key players like Tyus Jones and Deni Avdija gone, the roster is in disarray. The addition of No. 2 overall pick Alex Sarr shows they’re looking to the future, but their current roster is devoid of talent. After finishing last season on a dismal stretch, the Wizards are likely to continue their losing ways, making them prime candidates for a top draft pick.
The Future of Tanking
As the season progresses, the tanking narrative will undoubtedly evolve. Teams will jockey for position, and the puns will keep rolling in. The race to the bottom is not just about losing games; it’s about securing a brighter future through the draft. With the stakes higher than ever, fans can expect plenty of twists and turns as these teams navigate the treacherous waters of rebuilding. Whether you’re a fan of puns or just love the game, this season promises to be an entertaining ride.